Have you ever stopped to think about how life got so complicated?
I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s like I blinked and all of a sudden I’m a grown up married, with kids, a job and mortgage and trying to keep up with all the various demands of adulthood.
I realize that over the past few years, I’ve been stuck in hustle mode.
Chances are that if you’re reading this, you can relate.
The hustle culture. The nine-to-five. The daily grind.
Whatever you call it, somewhere along the line, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we need to have more and be doing more to have success. More money, more status, more work and hence the cycle continues.
As someone who has spent the majority of my adult life addicted to the chaos of hustle culture, I’m recognizing the joy and inspiration that comes with slow living.
What Is Slow Living?
Slow living is a lifestyle which encourages a slower approach to aspects of everyday life, involving completing tasks at a leisurely pace.
It is an intentional choice to savor the present, to be mindful, and to reject the notion that our worth is determined by our productivity.
In a world that glorifies busyness. It almost seems like slow living is impossible to achieve.
However, it’s important to remember that there are different types of slow living lifestyles and various ways to practice slow living.
On one extreme, people may choose to live off the grid, quit their stressful jobs, grow their own food and practice a more minimalist lifestyle.
I believe that anyone can start to practice slow living in a way that makes sense to them.
How is it possible to live slow when you are trying to balance life, work and kids?
How To Start Living A SLOW Life (A beginner’s guide to slow living)
Here are some things that I’m doing to incorporate more slowness into my life.
1. Adopting a soft life
You may have seen on social media the soft life movement. Where women especially black women are leaning into the soft life, their ‘soft life era’.
“soft life,” is a term that refers to a lifestyle that embraces rest and ease. It embraces comfort and enjoyment while limiting stress.
Most people associate the soft life with fancy vacations, drinks on the beach and dining at the best restaurants.
Social media and society has caused us to focus on the aesthetics of soft life as opposed to the mindset and growth behind it.
Soft life for me is NOT a life of luxury.
Creating a soft life is more about the inside than it is about the outside. It’s about cultivating the internal and facing life’s problems and challenges head on with the right mindset and a determination that all things ultimately work together for good.
Its also about rejecting the mindset that everything has to be hard.
We don’t get an award for having the most difficult life.
While I agree that we can’t always control our circumstances. Bad things happen and life is hard, I get it. I also believe that we can renew our mindset to believe that everything ultimately works out for good.
When we start to do that we start to look for the good in every situation. Even a really challenging day at work can be turned around when you focus on the good in the midst of the chaos.
2. Focusing on one thing at a time
We’re so used to rushing from one thing to another, that we’re never really giving our full attention to whatever it is that we were doing.
Think about even your computer screen right now. How many tabs do you have open right now? Were conditioned to be distracted by having to many things on the go at the same time.
I’m learning to put away distractions, and focus more on one thing at a time.
3. Disconnect from social media and the digital world often
Being connected to the digital world is great. While it can help build a sense of community and reconnect you with friends and family members around the world. Too much connection can also have its detrimental effects. It can lead us down the rabbit hole of comparison, listening to too many peoples opinions, and it will generally keep us distracted because the focus is on other people as opposed to your own life.
One of the ways that I’m doing this is to avoid being on my phone for the 1st hour after I wake up. Instead of putting my phone next to me when I sleep I put it a little bit away from arms reach so that I have to get up to turn off the alarm. When I’m up im more likely to actually get up and get started with my day as opposed to lying on my bed scrolling.
4. Being present in the moment and not worrying about the past or the future
There’s power in the NOW.
I’m a worry-er by nature and I tend to think a lot about the future and what will be. Even the bible tells us that tomorrow will worry about itself. Everyday has trouble of it’s own. So we should not worry.
Dwelling on the past is just as destructive because there’s nothing you can do about it. Our efforts are best spent focusing on the now.
5. Setting Clear boundaries and Learning to say no when necessary
This is for the people pleasers out there.
You want to say yes because you don’t want to let people down or seem like you’ll disappoint anyone.
You might even be scared about what people will think about you.
But when you say yes to too many things you’re actually saying no to yourself and the things that truly matter to you.
As moms, our to-do lists can often seem endless. However, by learning to say ‘no’ to non-essential commitments, we reclaim time for what truly matters – our families and ourselves.
6. Devoting time to self care on A regular baisis
Self care is going to look different for you based on the season in life that you’re in.
Schedule time for activities that recharge you. One of the things that I learned recently is that self care doesn’t mean sleep. Sure sleep is restorative to your body, but what about your mind, your spirit- you need to recharge those too. If you’re not giving yourself the type of rest that you need, then rest might feel unfulfilling. But when you are giving yourself the rest that you need, there is no way for you to not feel refreshed! On my weekly rest day, I like to check in with myself to see what kind of rest I need and I align my activities with that.
Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or enjoying a warm bath. Remember, a well-nurtured mother is better equipped to nurture her family.
You can also try to incorporate mini self care rituals into your day. For instance using a nice smelling body wash and spending an extra time savouring your shower in the morning can be considered self care if your used to jumping in and out of the shower.
7. Finding ways to make things easier
My to do list always feels too long and it seems like theres never enough time to get things done. So another thing ill be focusing on this year is finding ways ot make things easier.
I’ve incorporated several things into my life in an attempt to make things easier.
One of them being adapting my beauty regimen so that I spend less time getting ready in the mornings.
I have my brows micro bladed and wear my hair in knotless braids majority of the time. This means that I only have to spend about 5 minutes getting myself ready. A little bit of concealer, a coat of mascara, lipgloss and my hair pulled back in a ponytail is all I need to do each morning to look put together.
Weekly Reset
Another lifestyle change that I’ve made is to do a weekly reset. A weekly reset is basically a list of tasks that I do at the end of every week and at the start of a new week to prepare for the week ahead.
They are things that I know that if I do, things will be easier during the week. Take meal planning for example. If I can plan my meals ahead of time and even prepare them on the weekend, I know dinners during the week will be so much easier.
There lots of ways to do a weekly reset and I’ve created a weekly reset checklist to help you get started with creating one that works for you and your family.
I share a list of things that you can do to make life easier and provide space for you to modify and create one for yourself.
Theres no one size fits all approach to this, but if you can get certain things done ahead of time, you’ll find that you’re not constantly stressed about all the other things that you have to do.
Final Thoughts
At it’s heart, slow living offers a refreshing antidote to the fast-paced, often chaotic rhythms of modern life.
By prioritizing intentionality, mindfulness, and simplicity, we make space for deeper connection with ourselves, our surroundings, and the present moment.
Slow living isn’t just a lifestyle; it’s a mindset—a gentle reminder to slow down, breathe, and live with purpose.
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